Hopeful Me!
Label: RealityLifeTalks
Category: Article - 6th November, 2020
Let your crush know
WHEN A WOMAN IS CRUSHING ON A MAN.. WHAT SHOULD SHE DO?
I'll stick to the subject matter.
"Crushing on" in this context is just physical admiration and not having urge for sex or long term commitment like marriage.
Although this could apply to some people in some cases.
When you are crushing on a man. It's either you let him know or keep it to yourself.
If you keep it to yourself, he won't know.
But if you tell him, he would know. Very simple.
An important thing I want you to take note of is your motive and expectations. These two things guide our actions.
This applies for both the man and woman.
Feel free to tell someone you admire the person.
1) You remind the person of what he or she doesn't believe or has forgotten.
There are people who won't believe in themselves and in their looks until someone else convinces them.
I remember going a photoshoot and I eventually didn't like the pictures I took. I sent it to a female friend and criticized the photographer.. Guess what, she told me with all sincerity that the photos were cute.
She talked me into liking the picture and I did. Infact those photos are beautiful and I'm posting them on my birthday 😀😀.
Maybe I didn't see it well the first time.
2) You make the person feel loved and appreciated.
One of the challenges young persons have in love and relationship is "assumption".
You see a guy who looks cute. You assume he's already taken or probably has numerous girlfriend.
Personally, I've been a victim of this severally. Lots of ladies I've met, always assume I have a myriad of women flocking over me and I also have an amazing (Bollywood movie) love life. 🙄🙄
Well, this could be true, this could still be false. So stop making assumptions.
The guy might be lonely or might be feeling unloved and your little care and concern could make the whole difference.
Since this article is directed to young and unmarrried people, let me also add that even if a guy is in a relationship (not married yet, just dating), and you have the opportunity to compliment or show little affection please do.
I know lots of guys in toxic relationships that are seriously looking for fresh air.
3) You ease yourself from cluttered emotions.
The truth is our body exhibits lots of curiosity, nervousness, excitement on things or events we have the desire to experience.
And this literally keeps clustering until we do them.
By the same token when you open up to someone about how you feel. It eases off these emotions. Eventually you get to see things clearer.
This is the initial tweet I made. I got questions from several ladies and it led me to writing this article,
"When you have a crush on someone, let the person know!
Maybe through compliment or service. You mustn't necessarily ask the person out or do something very complex.
This helps balance your emotions and chases the butterflies in your stomach.
Then you can now focus on reality."
Hope you get the point now.
Let me use a real life experience to explain further.
I have an online female friend, I've not met her before shaa but from her updates, I think she's cute.
At some point I started admiring/liking her, either of the two. Some will say it's "a crush".
So, to save myself and the situation. I had to tell her..
And funny enough afterwards, the crushing spirit and force reduced 😄. I probably chased the butterflies away from my belly.
Note, I also made her know I wasn't asking her out when she hinted that.
I just told her I was just innocently admiring and appreciating her.
This is where your grammatical prowess should come in. Because people may likely misinterpret or misunderstand you.
Practical example.
Note: This is just an instance, it may not work exactly in real life
//As a lady, you see a guy you admire or have a crush on.
Lady: Hello, I like your hairstyle and shirt. Hope you know you are handsome?
Him: (He'll probably smile and respond)
//Then try adding humor to it won't seem as if you are all over him.
Lady: When a woman is complimenting you.. You should also say sweet things to her too🙄🙄
Him: (He'll probably laugh out loud and then start saying sweet things)
Lady: (Then smile and probably end the conversation or continue depending on the context).
Then allow nature take it course.
(Please no disrespect to real men.)
But someone said, "Men are cheap naturally", so with this in mind, he will probably take the friendship to the next level or just be your friend or nothing happens afterwards.
If nothing happens afterwards, don't be repulsive or resentful. Keep being in free and open conversation with him. Enjoy the moment.
4) You create a space for yourself in their heart.
When you do good to someone or make someone feel happy and loved, you subconsciously become part of the person's life.
The person may not realize this instantly but along the line they will.
People yearn for trust, love, affection and they'll tend to fall back to people who've shown them these things.
All I'm saying is, whether you are someone's friend, a partner, a random person etc always give to people the best of you.
As we summarize,
It's common for a man to meet a lady for the first time and say, "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you".
But it's absurd for a woman to do that because of the standards that's been set already.
But there are simple ways a lady can express how she feels to a man like I've referred to above.
Don't always feel like if you are easy to get, then you'll also be easy to let go.
The truth is if it took a man 15 years to win your heart or 15 mins, any man that wants to break your heart will do so and still move on 🙆
Those things don't count.
Personally I believe in love at first sight and love that comes eventually.
If he is handsome, tell him.
If he dresses so well, tell him.
If he has a great body build up, tell him.
If he's hardworking and successful, tell him too.
When you say good things to a man,
don't focus on his actions and inactions towards it.
What's important is you appreciating the fact that you are being sincere with yourself.
Finally, I see ladies post that they have crush on celebrities (both married and unmarried sef 🙄 ) who won't event see the post.
But they can't tell a guy on their dm that he's good looking. Lol.
No problem. It's well o.
Thank you for reading..
I'm Johnson Crystal Kalu and tomorrow (07/11) is my birthday
PS. Everything I shared here is from my own point of view and may not be applicable to everyone. But I just hope it made little sense to you.
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Johnson Crystal Kalu
Leader & Software Developer
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One of the easiest things I do is to write and speak to people.
But one of the most difficult things I have ever done was just to believe I could!
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